Curled Up on The Couch With Lisa

Plaintalk on Real Issues

This is Me.

Hello:).  Since this is my first blog,  I figure its only right that I tell you a little bit about myself.  My name is Lisa, I’m 43 years of age,  single mother to two absolutely amazing young adults that surely keep my blood streaming.   I’ve been divorced for 8 years and in many ways I realize that I definitely would not know Abba Father as I do today,  if I had still been in that marriage.  (I will explain this as we go on).

I was born into a home where we would read the Bible together,   pray together,  go to church every Sunday and occasionally a mid-week service but inside of our four walls,  all was not well.  I guess to the outside world we seemed like a decent family,  well put together but,  we were far from.  My dad was a terribly abusive man physically,  verbally,  emotionally…in whatever way abuse is possible,  we had to endure it.  I’d sit through our family Bible studies and sometimes my dad would be asked to preach and I’d think to myself that this God he spoke of was someone scary….just waiting to discipline anyone who went wayward. 

I was deeply fascinated with Egypt and everything to do with Egypt.  I often think that had I lived in another country,  in another time I most probably would have become an archeologist.  Someday learning to read hieroglyphs was top of my to-do list.  I dreamed of walking inside the pyramids or,  finding and closely examining Mayan,  Incan or Peruvian artifacts.  I was totally determined to find a way to connect with a genuine shaman who would teach me and help appease the lure of the mystics.  I happily accumulated all the ying-yang,  Eye of Horus and Nyaminyami (an ancient African serpent god) jewelry that I could and I unconsciously found myself being drawn into the occult and the dark seemed terribly inviting (pun intended).  I am certain it is nothing but the Grace of God that kept me from literally joining the occult and delving so deep into the darkness that I may never have seen light again.  I may never have actually engaged in any practices but trust me,  your mind can imprison you in a place just as impenetrable than any manmade structure.

So,  I went through the motions,  my heart could not have been further from God if I lived eight zillion galaxies away and still,  I brilliantly presented and maintained the façade of a good church girl.  Saying the right phrases,  singing the right songs,  doing the right actions and it meant less than nothing to me.  Looking back,  I marvel at how Father God protected and preserved me from myself.

And then,  I gave birth to my son.  I can genuinely say that the birth of this amazing being literally changed my life.  I gazed down into that crumpled,  beautiful,  tiny face and every protective instinct in me rose to the fore….I had flitted around in the darkness for so long that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I wanted my baby to ONLY live in The Light.  I knew about the evil that was out there,  some of it cunningly disguised and some of it out in plain sight and I wanted none of it to ever touch my child!  I recognized it in the fashion,  in the music,  in the movies and ‘entertainment’ and I purposed that the only way to steer clear of evil was to seek inherent Good.  From then on I started out on the journey of discovery.  I repented and recommitted my life to Christ and I have not looked back since.

I have a seriously inquiring mind and I just was not satisfied with the God that I’d been introduced to as a child.  He just didn’t seem real at all!  How could someone so staid and strict send His Son to die for me when He didn’t even know me?  Why would He want such a headache???  I didn’t buy it.  So,  I set out to discover Who He really is and,  I would love to share some of those discoveries with you.  Please don’t misunderstand me,  I do not in any way claim to have all the answers nor do I purport to have a special knowledge of The Holy One.  I would simply like to share with you this Sovereign King,  The Only Potentate,  The Star Breathing One Who deigns to call me ‘Daughter’ and is greatly moved when I call Him ‘Father’!  I’d love to share with you some of the hard truths I have learnt on this journey and hopefully,  expose some of the myths that I met along the way.  To share,  according to the Word of God,  His views on certain issues that we face even today.

 To think that He could have anything or anyone and yet He wants me!!  I can never fully comprehend or absorb the enormity of that great fact.

“Then you will call on Me and you will come and pray to Me,  and I will hear [your voice] and I will listen to you.  Then [with a deep longing] you will seek Me and require Me [as a vital necessity] and [you will] find Me when you search for Me will all your heart.  I will be found by you,’ says the LORD……”   Jeremiah 29:12 – 14a AMP

Will you take this journey with me?

May The Lord God Almighty smile on you this week.

God Bless

Lisa.

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